CHAPTER IV THE SOCIAL ORDER AND THE FAMILY
§ 1 Socialism and the Sexual Problem
Ideas to change the relationships between genders have been connected to plans for socializing production. The belief is that as private property disappears, so will traditional marriage, paving the way for a new understanding of love. Socialism offers promises of universal happiness in love and social well-being, contributing to its appeal. Many people feel that the current system for regulating sexual relations is inadequate, directing sexual energy into various social and cultural purposes. This transition can create struggles, with some individuals experiencing distress or mental health issues. While sex can bring joy, it can also lead to pain and a realization of aging, making it a powerful and complex part of human experience. Some reformers and thinkers struggled with their own sexual issues, influencing their ideas about society. Utopianism often idealizes a return to a time of free love, while Marxism seeks to abolish both marriage and private property by claiming these institutions are historically rooted in oppression.
§ 2 Man and Woman in the Age of Violence
Research into the history of sexual relations has revealed a complex and troubling picture of how men and women have interacted, especially in societies characterized by violence. There has been little progress in sociology regarding these historical dynamics, as existing theories about marriage and family do not accurately reflect the realities of past gender relations. In many societies, men exercised complete control over women, treating them as possessions rather than individuals. This dominance is highlighted by the ways women were acquired—sold, given away, or traded—much like property, and often faced a life of servitude under male authority.
Legal traditions from various cultures show a consistent pattern where men held all the rights. Women were seen primarily as sexual objects who belonged to a man, whether that be a father, guardian, husband, or employer. Even prostitutes lacked autonomy, as their relationships were dictated by the men who owned them. Women had no rights to initiate divorce or choose their partners, and they were expected to love their husbands without having a say in the matter. This system reinforced male superiority and minimized the possibility of equality between genders.
Despite the absolute control men sought to maintain, there were inherent contradictions in this arrangement. The sexual relationship relies on mutual enjoyment, but when women are treated as objects, it undermines men's pleasure. A one-sided dynamic cannot sustain genuine intimacy, as the desire for connection and reciprocity in sexual relationships often conflicts with the established hierarchy of violence.
As time progressed, feelings of love began to emerge, creating tensions between love and marriage. While love grew more central to human experience, it often existed separately from the institution of marriage, leading to conflict. The literature of the time reflects these struggles, highlighting the complexities men faced when balancing their duties to a wife while yearning for the affection of a lover. Unlike modern understandings, the conflicts were largely about property rights rather than emotional betrayal, with men feeling threatened not by their partner's affections but by her body being claimed by another man.
Under the rule of violence, love was stifled, resulting in alternative and often unhealthy expressions of desire. This suppression contributed to societal issues, including the rise of sexual diseases. The emergence of syphilis, which became an epidemic in Europe in the sixteenth century, can be seen as a consequence of these oppressive structures, reflecting the end of a romantic era marred by suffering and exploitation.
§ 3 Marriage Under the Influence of the Idea of Contract
The influence of economic factors, particularly Capitalism, on marriage and sexual relationships is often viewed negatively. It's argued that Capitalism has corrupted the natural purity of sexual interactions that once existed in earlier societies. While many believe that earlier cultures had simpler and more wholesome family life, research challenges this notion, revealing that our understanding of past sexual norms is often misguided. Contrary to popular beliefs, current views on marriage as a contract align more closely with genuine progress toward equality in relationships.
Historically, marriage was influenced by power dynamics where polygamy was prevalent, and women were seen as property. As societies evolved, especially with the rise of Capitalism, marriages began to shift towards a contractual basis. This allowed women to have rights and legal recognition of their wealth, changing the nature of their relationships with men. As a result, marriage transformed from one based purely on male authority to a partnership of equals.
The modern view of marriage emphasizes mutual consent, fidelity, and equal rights for both partners. These principles emerged significantly due to the contractual nature of marriage, which contrasts sharply with past conventions where rights and obligations were unevenly distributed. The development of divorce laws also highlights this change, reflecting a more liberal approach to marital breakdowns than existed in the past. Overall, the evolution of marriage is deeply connected to economic factors and legal advancements rather than traditional moral standards.
§ 4 the Problems of Married Life
Married life today combines marriage and love, with a belief that marriage is only suitable when based on love. Traditional arranged marriages, especially in royal families, seem outdated and are often portrayed as love matches, indicating even they are affected by societal expectations. Conflicts in modern marriages often arise from the fading of initial passion over time, as love evolves into a more stable affection. In many cases, parents find joy in their children's growth, which helps them cope with the loss of youthful passion.
People respond to the challenges of life in different ways. Some find comfort in religion, feeling a connection to eternal life. Others refuse easy answers from philosophy, preferring to face harsh realities. Many simply accept daily life and become unthinking followers of habit. A smaller group struggles to find happiness, feeling an intense desire for fulfillment but unable to achieve it. These individuals often suffer when their romantic passion diminishes, leading to disappointment or even hatred in their marriages.
The problems in marriage are not necessarily caused by societal conditions, like living in a capitalist system. Instead, they stem from the natural dispositions of the individuals involved. Historically, marriage and love were considered separate, and it wasn’t expected for marriage to provide lasting happiness. Now, with marriage seen as a contract based on consent, there is pressure for it to meet permanent emotional needs, which often leads to discontent.
While social factors can play a role in marital struggles, they are often secondary. Exceptionally talented individuals may struggle with marriage because they prioritize personal ambitions over traditional roles. Such people may find conventional marital obligations stifling. The idea of marriage has been challenged by feminism, which argues that women sacrifice their personal development and freedom within marriage. Feminists advocate for women’s liberation from these constraints to foster individuality.
Feminism's true goal is to equalize women's legal and economic rights to men's, supporting their freedom to pursue personal desires. However, those pushing for radical change in social institutions often overlook that the biological responsibilities of motherhood significantly impact women's independence, regardless of marriage. Ultimately, while some gifted women thrive, the demands of motherhood often prevent many from achieving their full potential.
§ 5 Free Love
Free love is seen as a way to solve sexual issues in a socialist society, where women no longer rely financially on men. In this society, men and women have equal economic rights and responsibilities. The care and education of children would be handled by society rather than just their parents, which removes traditional pressures on relationships between men and women. This change would mean that marriage and family could disappear, allowing individuals to come together or separate based on their desires.
Criticism of free love often comes from moral and religious viewpoints, which are considered insufficient. Many moralists think that sexual desire is always wrong, creating confusion about what is right and wrong when it comes to sex. This mixed viewpoint makes it hard for people to understand their relationships. While sex is usually less significant for men, for women, it greatly shapes their roles as lovers and mothers, which can limit their personal growth.
Feminism is mainly about women fighting for their own identities. This fight is important for men too, as real progress in society can only happen when both sexes work together. When women are held back by traditional roles, it also prevents men from developing fully. A look at history shows that in the East, women have often been seen only as bearers of children, which has held back cultural development.
In Western society, women have won legal equality with men. However, they still face social inequalities and the burdens of motherhood, which can restrict their freedom. Sometimes, efforts to achieve equality overlook the different challenges each gender faces, expecting women to share the responsibilities of home and work without understanding from men.
Ending marriage does not necessarily free women; it could take away important parts of their lives. Women can choose careers instead of families, but those who choose both may find it hard to balance their lives due to the demands of their roles. The fight for women's personal freedom is important for everyone, highlighting the need for men and women to work together as equal partners.
Taking children away from their families to raise them in institutions can harm their emotional development. Children learn love and important life lessons at home from their parents. The influence of parents is very significant for healthy growth. Ultimately, promoting free love should focus on allowing individuals to choose their relationships freely, rather than creating systems that ignore meaningful personal connections.
§ 6 Prostitution
Prostitution is seen as a necessary part of bourgeois society, similar to other institutions like the police and church. Many believe it is a result of capitalism, but prostitution has existed for a long time and is rooted in ancient customs, not a sign of moral decay. The idea of sexual purity only for brides reflects unequal moral expectations based on class. While some women enter prostitution for various reasons, the economic need would likely diminish in a society with equal incomes. However, it is uncertain if sexual morality would improve in a socialist society, indicating a need for a clearer understanding of sexual life and property issues.
§ 1 Socialism and the Sexual Problem
Ideas to change the relationships between genders have been connected to plans for socializing production. The belief is that as private property disappears, so will traditional marriage, paving the way for a new understanding of love. Socialism offers promises of universal happiness in love and social well-being, contributing to its appeal. Many people feel that the current system for regulating sexual relations is inadequate, directing sexual energy into various social and cultural purposes. This transition can create struggles, with some individuals experiencing distress or mental health issues. While sex can bring joy, it can also lead to pain and a realization of aging, making it a powerful and complex part of human experience. Some reformers and thinkers struggled with their own sexual issues, influencing their ideas about society. Utopianism often idealizes a return to a time of free love, while Marxism seeks to abolish both marriage and private property by claiming these institutions are historically rooted in oppression.
§ 2 Man and Woman in the Age of Violence
Research into the history of sexual relations has revealed a complex and troubling picture of how men and women have interacted, especially in societies characterized by violence. There has been little progress in sociology regarding these historical dynamics, as existing theories about marriage and family do not accurately reflect the realities of past gender relations. In many societies, men exercised complete control over women, treating them as possessions rather than individuals. This dominance is highlighted by the ways women were acquired—sold, given away, or traded—much like property, and often faced a life of servitude under male authority.
Legal traditions from various cultures show a consistent pattern where men held all the rights. Women were seen primarily as sexual objects who belonged to a man, whether that be a father, guardian, husband, or employer. Even prostitutes lacked autonomy, as their relationships were dictated by the men who owned them. Women had no rights to initiate divorce or choose their partners, and they were expected to love their husbands without having a say in the matter. This system reinforced male superiority and minimized the possibility of equality between genders.
Despite the absolute control men sought to maintain, there were inherent contradictions in this arrangement. The sexual relationship relies on mutual enjoyment, but when women are treated as objects, it undermines men's pleasure. A one-sided dynamic cannot sustain genuine intimacy, as the desire for connection and reciprocity in sexual relationships often conflicts with the established hierarchy of violence.
As time progressed, feelings of love began to emerge, creating tensions between love and marriage. While love grew more central to human experience, it often existed separately from the institution of marriage, leading to conflict. The literature of the time reflects these struggles, highlighting the complexities men faced when balancing their duties to a wife while yearning for the affection of a lover. Unlike modern understandings, the conflicts were largely about property rights rather than emotional betrayal, with men feeling threatened not by their partner's affections but by her body being claimed by another man.
Under the rule of violence, love was stifled, resulting in alternative and often unhealthy expressions of desire. This suppression contributed to societal issues, including the rise of sexual diseases. The emergence of syphilis, which became an epidemic in Europe in the sixteenth century, can be seen as a consequence of these oppressive structures, reflecting the end of a romantic era marred by suffering and exploitation.
§ 3 Marriage Under the Influence of the Idea of Contract
The influence of economic factors, particularly Capitalism, on marriage and sexual relationships is often viewed negatively. It's argued that Capitalism has corrupted the natural purity of sexual interactions that once existed in earlier societies. While many believe that earlier cultures had simpler and more wholesome family life, research challenges this notion, revealing that our understanding of past sexual norms is often misguided. Contrary to popular beliefs, current views on marriage as a contract align more closely with genuine progress toward equality in relationships.
Historically, marriage was influenced by power dynamics where polygamy was prevalent, and women were seen as property. As societies evolved, especially with the rise of Capitalism, marriages began to shift towards a contractual basis. This allowed women to have rights and legal recognition of their wealth, changing the nature of their relationships with men. As a result, marriage transformed from one based purely on male authority to a partnership of equals.
The modern view of marriage emphasizes mutual consent, fidelity, and equal rights for both partners. These principles emerged significantly due to the contractual nature of marriage, which contrasts sharply with past conventions where rights and obligations were unevenly distributed. The development of divorce laws also highlights this change, reflecting a more liberal approach to marital breakdowns than existed in the past. Overall, the evolution of marriage is deeply connected to economic factors and legal advancements rather than traditional moral standards.
§ 4 the Problems of Married Life
Married life today combines marriage and love, with a belief that marriage is only suitable when based on love. Traditional arranged marriages, especially in royal families, seem outdated and are often portrayed as love matches, indicating even they are affected by societal expectations. Conflicts in modern marriages often arise from the fading of initial passion over time, as love evolves into a more stable affection. In many cases, parents find joy in their children's growth, which helps them cope with the loss of youthful passion.
People respond to the challenges of life in different ways. Some find comfort in religion, feeling a connection to eternal life. Others refuse easy answers from philosophy, preferring to face harsh realities. Many simply accept daily life and become unthinking followers of habit. A smaller group struggles to find happiness, feeling an intense desire for fulfillment but unable to achieve it. These individuals often suffer when their romantic passion diminishes, leading to disappointment or even hatred in their marriages.
The problems in marriage are not necessarily caused by societal conditions, like living in a capitalist system. Instead, they stem from the natural dispositions of the individuals involved. Historically, marriage and love were considered separate, and it wasn’t expected for marriage to provide lasting happiness. Now, with marriage seen as a contract based on consent, there is pressure for it to meet permanent emotional needs, which often leads to discontent.
While social factors can play a role in marital struggles, they are often secondary. Exceptionally talented individuals may struggle with marriage because they prioritize personal ambitions over traditional roles. Such people may find conventional marital obligations stifling. The idea of marriage has been challenged by feminism, which argues that women sacrifice their personal development and freedom within marriage. Feminists advocate for women’s liberation from these constraints to foster individuality.
Feminism's true goal is to equalize women's legal and economic rights to men's, supporting their freedom to pursue personal desires. However, those pushing for radical change in social institutions often overlook that the biological responsibilities of motherhood significantly impact women's independence, regardless of marriage. Ultimately, while some gifted women thrive, the demands of motherhood often prevent many from achieving their full potential.
§ 5 Free Love
Free love is seen as a way to solve sexual issues in a socialist society, where women no longer rely financially on men. In this society, men and women have equal economic rights and responsibilities. The care and education of children would be handled by society rather than just their parents, which removes traditional pressures on relationships between men and women. This change would mean that marriage and family could disappear, allowing individuals to come together or separate based on their desires.
Criticism of free love often comes from moral and religious viewpoints, which are considered insufficient. Many moralists think that sexual desire is always wrong, creating confusion about what is right and wrong when it comes to sex. This mixed viewpoint makes it hard for people to understand their relationships. While sex is usually less significant for men, for women, it greatly shapes their roles as lovers and mothers, which can limit their personal growth.
Feminism is mainly about women fighting for their own identities. This fight is important for men too, as real progress in society can only happen when both sexes work together. When women are held back by traditional roles, it also prevents men from developing fully. A look at history shows that in the East, women have often been seen only as bearers of children, which has held back cultural development.
In Western society, women have won legal equality with men. However, they still face social inequalities and the burdens of motherhood, which can restrict their freedom. Sometimes, efforts to achieve equality overlook the different challenges each gender faces, expecting women to share the responsibilities of home and work without understanding from men.
Ending marriage does not necessarily free women; it could take away important parts of their lives. Women can choose careers instead of families, but those who choose both may find it hard to balance their lives due to the demands of their roles. The fight for women's personal freedom is important for everyone, highlighting the need for men and women to work together as equal partners.
Taking children away from their families to raise them in institutions can harm their emotional development. Children learn love and important life lessons at home from their parents. The influence of parents is very significant for healthy growth. Ultimately, promoting free love should focus on allowing individuals to choose their relationships freely, rather than creating systems that ignore meaningful personal connections.
§ 6 Prostitution
Prostitution is seen as a necessary part of bourgeois society, similar to other institutions like the police and church. Many believe it is a result of capitalism, but prostitution has existed for a long time and is rooted in ancient customs, not a sign of moral decay. The idea of sexual purity only for brides reflects unequal moral expectations based on class. While some women enter prostitution for various reasons, the economic need would likely diminish in a society with equal incomes. However, it is uncertain if sexual morality would improve in a socialist society, indicating a need for a clearer understanding of sexual life and property issues.